In the midst of trying to cut down the number of unread posts in my Google Reader (over 400) I came across a post by Bonnie Kozek called Under the Influence: Writers and Depression and Choices Chosen written last March (thank you Publetariat). Having just surfaced from a minor bout of depression and having realized the effects it had on my writing, I read this article with interest.
Everyone has ups and downs, good days and horrible days. I have struggled with depression throughout my life but thanks to strong religious beliefs, loving family, and wonderful friends it has never become a serious problem. I often tell myself that without the low days I wouldn't have the high days so in the end it's worth it.
I don't know why but I've always associated this with my inclination to write. They are not really connected but I've felt that my experiences gave me more to draw on for realistic characters and situations in my fiction. Or maybe I just bought into the tortured artist stereotype that Kozek describes. My desire to create is usually not diminished despite my moods until recently. Insecurity is the enemy of creativity because it makes you question the worth of your work.
Fortunately, I've pushed aside my doubts with my desire to write. They aren't gone, and I'm sure they'll surface again, but for now I'm going to try and get as much done as I can. I've got editing and research to do. I've got characters that need polishing and plot lines that need ironing. There's work to be done! There's no time for insecurity!