Frustration to Revelation = Writer for Life

Today is the 24th day of November which means that at midnight tonight I should have written 40,008 to be on track for the 50 mark next Monday. *Groan* Next Monday... that is way too soon. My little beauty currently sits at 34,508 words. It's not impossible, I know - I would only have to write about 2,600 words a day to make it on time. That's not so bad, right?

Except that I have no idea what I'm going to write after the scene I came up with last night.

It has certainly been a roller coaster ride so far. Life always seems to get in the way of our goals and set us behind schedule. My husband has been out of town a lot this month, which was great alone time for writing but I wanted to spend the weekends with him while he was home. There were several days that I missed writing even one word and that is definitely something I regret. Even just a couple of sentences would have helped, I think. It's about balance, though, and I don't regret spending time with my husband.

He asked me a couple weeks ago how it was going - yes, he's very supportive - and if I was having fun. I had not thought seriously about it since the first couple of days so I thought out loud with him for a minute. Here's what I realized:

"It's going pretty good and even though I'm behind I don't feel hopeless yet. The first few days were great because I was so excited and the story flowed really well. I still feel good, though. I feel like I'm accomplishing things and working toward a personal goal I set for myself. I am happy when I'm writing. I love this feeling."

I have always wanted to write. When I was 4 years old and getting ready for kindergarten I would fill pages and pages on a legal pad with M's and W's. When I was in sixth grade I wrote a story about a white rabbit named Snow White. It was 100 pages long and everyone in my class was in awe. The desire and drive has come and gone over the years but then I did NanoWrimo 2006. I did not make 50K but I actually finished a story. It was huge for me. I won 2007 but got bogged down in editing and let it fall by the wayside. 2008 was a train wreck. And this year has been an epiphany.

I feel more like who I want to be personally when I am writing. I am happier, I feel motivated and excited, I accomplish great things, and I enjoy it even when I'm discouraged.

I think I can officially say I am a writer for life.